Jane Sarcasm and the Mystical Library

Written by: Isabelle Roberge

Alright. Here we go. (Warning Explicit Sarcasm) I’m going to tell you all about something magical, something that seems like a story from ancient history. I’m going to tell you about the library. The library is a place where one can find things called books and get help on research. It could probably help you with your research, on whatever it may be. I know they may seem like things of the past, but I bet you fifty bucks that there is one on campus. And you know what the best part is, it’s still open. Here’s how you use it. 1. Turn off your computer and go outside (I know, sunlight, fresh air, other people, scary stuff, but I believe in you). 2. Get a drink, you’ll need it later when you realize I’m right. 3. Look up on your phone for the nearest library (and yes, a little dot will appear on the gps. I’m not tricking you.) 4. Go to that location and go inside. 5. Spew drink because it’s a mystical place that actually exists. 6. Go up to someone at the front desk (they’re called librarians) and ask them for assistance. They will most likely direct you to someone who can help you with your research. And, if you’re really lucky, they’ll give you an ancient, but highly useful artifact called a book. It has pages made of paper that you have to flip by yourself and everything. If you leave your room, and go to the library I promise, it will help you. It’s still there for a reason. It will help you with whatever school work you have, and even if it isn’t school, a vast majority of books have been written purely for entertainment. Trust me. Leave the digital world, get your head out of the matrix and go out and see the world and all the things it offers. Also do your homework, seriously, don’t fail school, you actually have to get a job after this.